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baby daddy


To Every Woman who Marries a Baby Daddy

Now I realize, that some have become accustomed to my usage of a special type of rhythm, a distinct type of flow, a manipulation of language that consequences the senses. But every once in a while, I gotta shed poetry, and remind a person or two, that a chick is straight out of the Brooklyn zoo! 

Because now that we are recycling men, it has become evident, there are matters that need to be addressed from a woman to a woman. I want to be kindly authentic in my delivery and give it to you hardcore raw. Cause a man can't impart this to you like I do. 

Woman, allow me to remind you, what you are called for. You are a pillar and not of salt--but of purpose. You are the pillar of strength, creativity, passion and sweet feminine authority. You should know you have the audacity and capacity to influence and drive your man. Yes you do. You are the help meet, the extraordinary flesh and bone of him, deliberately created to surround him, aid him, provide his succor and gird him. So let me break that down for you. 

While you for your man, you not about his foolishness. You pull him out of every muck and mire that would try to overtake him. You are in agreement with your man's agenda, but not when his agenda hurts his platform, his heritage or his destiny. You are called to hold him up, especially at those moments when he wants to trip and fall over the menial stuff. You don't stoop down with him in the gravel. You are an inspiration, inspire him to breath higher. 

Because he who finds a wife, finds a good thing--and you are a good thing, practicing good things, producing good things, giving good things to your man! But it doesn't stop there. He finds you and obtains favor from the Lord. Not the kind of favor that prefers one kid over the other. Nor the kind of favor that encourages the mistreatment of the innocents. (The children are always the innocents). But the kind of favor that blesses, serves, loves and protects.

Therefore Woman, when the man you call husband, wants to withhold time, emotions and tangible items from his seed, do not encourage that! 

When the man you call husband, who is called father, uses his mouth to degrade the mother of his seed--within the ears of the seed--do not justify that! 

And when the man you call husband, honey, "bea", "boo", undermines the character of the woman who furthered his progeny, do not support that, protect that or participate in that! We ought not shelter ignorance.

Because don't ever get to thinking you are some-kind-of-special, like umm a unicorn, that you can't one day catch it! That it--is not a formula made just for me. You are not exempt from his rage and wrath just cause you running the water for his bath--tonight. Don't think when he get ready to exact revenge, it will over look you or pardon the seed that fell from you...Stupidity does not discriminate. What you don't correct in him, he will give to you, eventually, ultimately, sooner than maybe. 

And furthermore, don't think you are better than me. You're not. You are a different me. It's just your turn to learn and tame the beast that would want to claim him and destroy you, eliminate your family. 

So on Sunday, when your husband, aka baby daddy wants to send his son home in the same clothes he arrived in on Friday, un-laundered--down to the undergarments--think about how much love you are demonstrating when you facilitate that transaction. (Not to mention the lesson of hygiene you are giving him).

And next Friday, when your husband aka my baby daddy pisses you off--don't misplace that anger or that smart mouth on my boy. Keep your adult aggression and conversation in the bedroom with your boo. Again--think about how much love is in that transaction. (Not to mention, the lesson of conflict resolution).

Or on any random day, if my boy should hit the nerve your husband been trampling over--you know, cause the boy is being a kid--do not discipline him. You can't lay down the law if you don't lay down the love! 

And finally, when you feel a little overwhelmed, a little disgusted, a little-whole-lot like you want to give up, because you might after a night of arguing about the same ole thing...don't disrespect yourself or your man in the presence of my son. Don't give that to him. Because everything you are doing is an imprint in my son's roadmap to manhood. 

So Women, since you voluntarily marring baby daddies--stay in your role. Stepmom--step up your love. Step up your patience. Step up your compassion, step up your faith, step up your kindness, step up your attitude, your decision making, your conflict resolution, your homemaking skills...Step up in your virtues. 

We are neither pigeons or chickens as some would purport. We are eagles soaring, mounting our wings to help each other up--and that includes the baby mommas!  

Your Husband's Baby Momma

erm...It is Well